It's Okay to Feel Your Feelings.

Hey ya'll. So it's been a few years since I blogged last. Yeah. Years. Unacceptable. I won't bother trying to catch up on what's been happening in my life since. There's too much. But in all those happenings, I've learning a few somethings. First and foremost, though, I learned - the hard way, just like I learn most things - that it is okay to feel the way you feel. You don't have to explain your feelings to anyone, you don't owe them an explanation of why you feel the way you do. They're not in your brain, or in your heart. Why should they have a right to an explanation? I am an introvert. This may not be news. But it is the truth. And as part of this inconvenient truth about my personality, there are little quirks about my brain that I haven't quite figured out yet. If I can't figure it out, what makes you think that I can verbalize it to you? What makes you so special that I should have to try to do that for you? Bear in mind that this is not directed to anyone in particular. These are thoughts and feelings that have been stirring around in my quirky brain for quite awhile, and I have done myself the disservice of not verbalizing them. Well, I may not have quite the level of anonymity necessary for this type of musing by posting it on my (semi) public blog, but it'll do. Who knows, maybe someone else is feeling this way, too. You're not alone in your feelings. And I hope I'm not either.

Details, details...

So as you all know, I leave for China in... T-minus 3 days and counting.
I'm nervous and excited, all at the same time!!!

I've been doing my homework on the hotels I'll be staying at, just to ease my nervousness.
The first hotel, in Beijing, is called Trader's Hotel.



This is about what the room will look like!

In Xi'an, We will be staying at Xi'an Tanghua Garden Hotel. It's a more pagoda style place, which is exciting to me!



and here's a picture of a standard room.

Last, in Shanghai, we'll be staying at a Holiday Inn Downtown.



and a standard room looks like this.

Of course I'll be taking my own pictures and post them here and/or Facebook.
Again, DO NOT text me, call me, or send me picture messages from June 7-17. It will cost me a lot and I can't afford it, haha. If you want to get a hold of me, email, Facebook, Skype, or comment here. :)

Super excited and wishing the time would pass more quickly,
Chelsie

Holy Life Changing Excursions, Batman!

So. I'm going to be leaving the country in roughly 12 days.

Am I excited?
Of course.

Am I also scared out of my mind?
Double yes.

So for those of you who don't know, let me catch you up.

I got chosen based on my GPA and major by the International Scholar Laureate Program to be a delegate to China for a study of Eastern medicine. It's an incredible experience, something that will look fantastic on my resume. I will be out of the county for a total of about 12-13 days, including travel time, and will be in the country of China for ten days. I will be visiting, in order, Beijing, Xi'an, and Shanghai. Super exciting, right?
Yes.

I never realized how much work was involved in going to another country! You have to get a passport, and then get a visa (both of which require separate pictures -- pain in the butt cuz they have to be just the right dimensions). Then there's the matter of plane tickets from LA to Beijing, which cost a small fortune. Then the tickets back to LA from Shanghai -- another good chunk of money. Then I get toworry about getting to LA from my house! It's all the little things that get me frazzled. It's so much to keep track of!

Then there's this business of the time change. How in the world do you get used to that? What if I get there and can't sleep, so then I oversleep in the morning? And what about when I come back? Oooh that should be fun, working two jobs when I come home! Haha.

That is granted I actually land the new job. It's at a hospital about half and hour from my house. The job description is basically doing a whole bunch of writing. Normally, a physician does a whole lot of writing, such as taking a patient's history, writing prescription instructions, etc. What I would be doing (as something called a scribe) is I would be doing all this writing for the doctor. This is to help the doctor be able to spend more time focusing on bedside manner and actually treating the patient. I would also be keeping the doctor up-to-date on the patients' statuses and such. This job would be such a great experience for me as I wish to go to medical school, and this experience would look amazing on my resume and med school apps.

Right now, I'm not even sure what I'm doing this fall. It is between this job and staying at home or in the same town at the same school for a while longer, or (if I somehow don't land this job) transferring to U of A for the fall semester. It totally freaks me out having my future so up-in-the-air... But I know that whatever happens, it's in God's hands and I know He only wants what's best for me. So I just have to be patient and wait. I find out about the job June 3rd. So.. Not too terribly much longer. But the waiting is driving me craaaaaaazy!

Soooo yeah. That's what's going on in myyy life right now... Kinda heavy stuff!

I'll definitely be blogging while I'm in China. So keep checking back! I'll post the link to Facebook when I post new stuff. Sometimes it'll just be pics, sometimes stuff I learned. I want to fully document this incredible trip!

Thank you my dear loyal readers, for putting up with another one of my posts full of random blabberings. I love you all. <3

Chelsers

Obsideo per monumentum, venator per vereor, atque validus per incendia

Yeah, that's Latin.
Just thought I'd mix things up a little bit..
For this post, I want to reminisce about this past year.
First and foremost, I just want to say it was the hardest time of my life, by far.
I endured much pain: losing the one I loved, family hardships, quarrels with friends...
But through those hurtful times, many doors were opened. Yes, the times were hard. Yeah, I shed a lot of tears. And of course there were days when I just didn't feel like continuing on down this difficult path.
But if it's one thing I'm most definitely not, it's a quitter.
Tomorrow, February 1st. 2010. I broke two hearts. You probably remember my post from around this time last year. I was in bad shape.
But because of that pain, I learned valuable lessons about relationships, heartbreak... and myself.
In this past year, I have broken ties with a few people... But in breaking those ties, I had formed new ones and renewed relationships with old friends who I had taken for granted.
I've matured a lot, in the way I go about doing things. I used to just do whatever I felt like... But now I think about the repercussions of my actions.
And I've taken a liking to Latin. ;)

I've Been Thinking Lately.

I've been having a lot of deep thought about the events of my life lately.

They haven't all been pleasant.

In fact, a lot of them have been far from that.

But they have all opened doors for better things to happen.

First of all: the breakup.

Yeah, those eleven months of depression sucked.

Like, a lot.

But... I learned how to deal with deep emotional hurt. And that I can't open myself up so completely. Especially to someone who is just going to take my feelings and crush them by running off with some little girl.

Another thing I learned was to be happy for someone, even though they hurt me. I'm very happy for him. Even though I'm not who makes him happy, he found someone else in this world that 's fulfills him. That is really what I want. What I have wanted all along. And isn't that what love is, anyway? To want what is best for the other?

Anyway. I've also learned what responsibility really means. Responsibility, in my dictionary, means to show respect to others, even when you don't agree with them. Because that is the right thing to do, even though it may be uncomfortable. Like, my parents for instance. They care about me and they put rules in place to keep me safe. Ignoring those guidelines would not be prudent, even though it isn't always what I want to do. I love my parents dearly, and I don't want them to feel disrespected because I don't like their rules.

Enough serious stuff...

So I found the most AWESOME phone the other day. I was all excited, cuz it's a Droid, but it looks like R2-D2! I was super nerding out in the Verizon store, talking about how I wanted it so bad for my upgrade. I told my friend, Cody, who up and decides HE'S gonna get it before me >.<

I know it's pretty lame to blog about this, but life has been kinda boring lately, except working all the time. School starts Tuesday, yay! I'm very excited, winter break has lasted wayyyyy too long in my opinion.

Anywayyyyyy time for bed. Spending the day with my mama tomorrow before work.

Later, my loyal readers.

<3

Words, Words, Words

Yes, that is a Bo Burnham reference ;)

Man!

I have been neglectful to you, my poor blog. I am deeply apologetic!

Hmmm.

Life.

What have I been up to lately?

Well... School. Yay for school. Sometimes it vexes me... Other times, I enjoy it so much that I can barely contain myself. (this doesn't happen too terribly often...) Either way, I love learning new things. Aaaand dissecting things! Yum....

Sheep braaaaain....

Ees a CRAWfish!!

Yeah, gotta loooove biology lab!

Also, I got a new job. I'm a sales floor team member at Target! I'm loving it hardcore, seriously. They hired me for a seasonal position and told me last week that they wanted too keep me permanently. Needless to say... I was pretty freakin happy.

Oh! Puppy pictures :)

This would be Jack's "Christmas outfit." Poor puppy...

There was food, so he didn't even notice his ear was flipped back.

I just love the way his legs are contorted here.

Such a sweet puppy, curled up in amongst my school books.